Welcome

•October 12, 2008 • Leave a Comment

Welcome to the ATFS Show Notes blog. This site will (hopefully) provide links to all of the stories and news items that are referred to in the ATFS podcast. If you don’t know what I’m talking about then you probably shouldn’t be here, but if you want to find out please click the About link. Feedback, comments and corrections are welcome.
Enjoy 🙂

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R.I.P. Richard Marsland

•December 7, 2008 • Leave a Comment

Absolutely tragic news today. Triple M listeners Australia-wide will know him from his work on Get This, with Tony Martin, or perhaps Tough Love, with Mick Molloy. Melbourne listeners recently had the pleasure of hearing him as a co-host on the Pete & Myf breakfast show, and long-time fans will remember his work on The Late Date Show on Fox FM, with Bessie Bardot. He also worked as a writer on Rove Live and Newstopia. Richard was a comedic genius and a true talent. His quick wit and subtle delivery will be greatly missed by all, and his parting will leave a gaping hole in the comedic community. I wish his family and friends all the best.

Rest in peace Richard.

Click here to read the news article from The Herald-Sun
Click here to read the news article from The Age

Click here if you would like to post a tribute on the Triple M website

Click here to visit Richard’s wikipedia page

Click here to listen to “Sporkman”, Richard’s parody of The Spoonman

Episode 39

•November 22, 2008 • 5 Comments

Click here for Episode 39

*It seems that Odie has finally gotten his way on something because this is basically a “best-of-the-ATFS-podcasts” podcast. So queue up your dodgy harp sound-effects, sit back and enjoy the memories. 🙂
Click here for all the previous episodes

Last week’s poll:
Looking at Garfield’s Past Actions In Avoiding Sex With Women Among Other Things – Is He As Gay As Odie.*EDIT (for Odie’s benefit): Is Garfield a Cock Sith?

Yes – Indeed He Is 80.4% (37 of 46 Responses)
No Way Squire 19.6% (9 of 46 Responses)
*Given that this is the last ATFS podcast for this year I’m not sure if there will be a poll this week, but if there is:
Click here to vote on the current poll (or see the results of previous polls)

A FORMER prison inmate has been awarded $500,000 after his manhood was consumed by flesh-eating bacteria while he was behind bars.
Charlie Manning, 61, was serving a 13-month stretch at Stafford Creek prison in Washington state, US, for a boozy fight when he became sick, The Daily Telegraph reports.
The prison doctor wrongly diagnosed his symptoms as an allergic reaction to medication.
Turned out he had necrotising fasciitis – and the bacteria destroyed his penis and one testicle.
More

PARIS Hilton and Benji Madden have ended their nine month relationship, with a rep for Hilton confirming the split.
“Even though they are still in love, they felt it would be better to just be friends,” a source close to Hilton, 27, told USmagazine.
Madden’s dislike for Hilton’s friends was allegedly behind the spilt.
“Benji was overprotective and controlling. He doesn’t get along with any of her friends,” the source added.
“Friends thought Paris had changed since being with Benji and she wants to be herself again.”
More

Australia’s 25 Most Intriguing People for 2008.
Fabulous or infuriating, they’re the locals who grabbed the headlines in 2008 for reasons so right – or terribly wrong.
More
Click here for the gallery (including Stephanie Rice and her beautifully proportioned nose)
*Let’s face it, we’d all do her (although I have to agree with Garfield: One dude per room. No exceptions!)

*That’s about it in terms of news links.
If there was a Guinness World Record for the longest sarcastic rant then this podcast would definitely be featured. Anyone who listened to this would be forgiven for thinking that Comic Book Guy was sincere and genuine.

Many thanks to Spoony, Garfield and Odie for the awesome podcasts. Let’s hope that they return to our non-Apple MP3 players soon.

And, continuing the theme of the podcast, if you would like to buy some Kevin Rudd merchandise:
Click here to visit the Kevin Rudd memorabilia website and show your heart-felt appreciation for 12 long months of Labor.

Finally, here’s one for the geeks. It’s called The Bandwidth of Ejaculation. It comes (pardon the pun) complete with a bukkake reference.
Click here if you’re interested

Episode 38

•November 14, 2008 • Leave a Comment

Click here for Episode 38

Last week’s poll:
Is watching Footloose more than Once as an Adult Male Gay??

78.8% (63 of 80 responses) – Yes – Totally Gay Odie
21.3% (17 of 80 Responses) – No – It’s Not Gay Leave Odie Along

Does Odie Slurp Penis??
30.8% (24 of 78 responses) – Yea Totally – I Believe He Does
44.9% (35 of 78 responses) – Yea – But I’m Only Saying Yes To Take The Piss Out Of Odie
24.4% (19 of 78 Responses) – No – What A Stupid Suggeston
Click here to vote on the current polls

*This link is probably only useful to Spoony because only he knows what the random model looks like, but:
Click here to visit the Vivien’s Model Management website

Click here to visit the Media Watch website
Click below to download Media Watch Episode 39:
WMV MP4

Click here to visit the Brian Carlton (a.k.a. The Spoonman) wiki page

Treasury Secretary Henry Paulson sold the $700 billion financial bailout to Congress by insisting that emergency cash was needed to get rotting mortgage and other assets off banks’ balance sheets. Now he’s telling a different story:
“Over these past weeks we have continued to examine the relative benefits of purchasing illiquid mortgage-related assets,” Paulson said in a speech today. “Our assessment at this time is that this is not the most effective way to use TARP [Troubled Asset Relief Program] funds.”
Instead, the Treasury secretary announced plans to use the bailout cash for a distinctly different approach to resolving the financial mess: injecting additional capital into banks (potentially expanding the initiative to include non-bank financial institutions), supporting the asset-backed securitization market, and looking at ways to prevent foreclosures.
More

KEVIN Rudd has moved quickly to cement his links with the incoming US administration of Barack Obama, meeting his representative Madeleine Albright to discuss the global financial crisis in Washington today.
And the Prime Minister has also strongly hinted he will augment his Government’s $10.4 billion economic stimulus, urging leaders of the G20 nations to join in a concerted push to use government spending to buttress economic growth and protect jobs in the face of the collapse of global credit and stock markets.
Mr Rudd arrived amid heavy security at Andrews Air Force Base early this afternoon for weekend meetings of the leaders of G20 nations to be hosted by George W. Bush.
More

WORLD leaders hoping for time with US President-elect Barack Obama at this weekend’s G20 will be disappointed.
His transitional campaign co-chairman, John Podesta, said yesterday that Senator Obama would not attend the meeting, nor would he have one-on-one meetings with any of the 19 world leaders who will arrive in Washington at the weekend.
More

Click here for the Christian Scientists wiki page
Click here for the Ivy League wiki page

When asked to choose among some of the GOP’s top names for their choice for the party’s 2012 presidential nominee, 64% said Palin. The next closest contenders were two former governors and unsuccessful challengers for the presidential nomination this year – Mike Huckabee of Arkansas with 12% support and Mitt Romney of Massachusetts with 11%.
More

We now know the going rate for volunteering to be hit in the nuts by a pitching machine baseball: 1 million bucks. Not that Lhyvann Felipe volunteered, exactly. The unfortunate fellow, who was nailed in a batting cage while picking up baseballs, was awarded $1.2 million last week by a Miami jury consisting of five women and seven nervous, fidgeting, cross-legged men.
Lhyvann got $160,000 for medical expenses and $1 million “for pain and suffering.”
More

CAPED-crusader Batman is being sued.
It’s not the new plot for the next Batman movie, after the awesome success of The Dark Knight, but legal action being taken by Batman, an oil producing city in Turkey’s southeast.
Huseyin Kalkan, the pro-Kurdish Democratic Society Party mayor of Batman, is suing Christopher Nolan and Warner Brothers, for royalties from The Dark Knight.
More

To visit the Maldives is to witness the slow death of a nation.
For as well as being blessed with sun-kissed paradise islands and pale, white sands, this tourist haven is cursed with mounting evidence of an environmental catastrophe.
The country is portrayed by travel companies as a tropical paradise
To the naked eye, the signs of climate change are almost imperceptible, but government scientists fear the sea level is rising up to 0.9cm a year.
Since 80% of its 1,200 islands are no more than 1m above sea level, within 100 years the Maldives could become uninhabitable.
More

A Brazilian woman has died after being struck by her husband’s coffin when the hearse they were travelling in was involved in a car crash.
The 67-year-old woman was on the way to the cemetery to bury her husband, who had died the day before.
The hearse was struck from behind by an Alfa Romeo car, police said.
More

A MAN who had sex with his wheelchair-bound mother because he said no other women wanted him has been jailed.
On May 29, they were watching television when he told her: “Why don’t women want me. I can’t get no women here,” the Northern Territory Supreme Court was told.
The son then pulled his mother’s pants down, took a condom out of his wallet, and had sex with her.
More

Click here for the Bad Boy Bubby IMDB page

Foreplay may be overrated according to a survey based on 2,300 women, which found that it has little or no significance when it comes to the likelihood of having an orgasm.
“In contrast to the assumptions of many sex therapists and educators, more attention should be given to improve the quality and duration of intercourse rather than foreplay,” say Professor Stuart Brody of the University of the West of Scotland, and Professor Peter Weiss, from Charles University, Prague.
More

Click here for the Chasing Amy IMDB page
*Kevin Smith, the director, is a genius. I suggest you check out his other movies if you haven’t seen them.
Incidentally, the quote “He loves the cock” comes from another Kevin Smith movie called Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back.

A WOMAN addicted to cosmetic surgery is unrecognisable after injecting cooking oil into her face.
The Daily Telegraph in London reports Korean woman Hang Mioku, 48, had her first cosmetic surgery procedure at 28 and was hooked, moving to Japan for more.
Ms Hang’s parents took her for treatment for her addiction, but it didn’t last. She soon found a doctor who would give her silicone injections and he even gave her a syringe and silicone so she could self-inject, the paper said.
When her supply ran out, she used cooking oil.
More

A WOMAN who tried to flee a Ku Klux Klan initiation rite was allegedly shot dead by the group’s leader in a remote camp in the swamps of Louisiana.
At some point on Sunday evening, the woman decided she wanted to leave and had an argument with group leader Raymond “Chuck” Foster, 44 who pulled out a .40 calibre handgun and shot her, police alleged.
More

This past Sunday, during a Worship Service at the Church, a group of loud and intentionally disruptive homosexual activists stood outside of the sanctuary of Mount Hope dressed in strange pink attire. Using megaphones for amplification, they shouted epithets at those entering the service such as “Jesus is a homo”.They also mockingly carried an upside down pink cross.
More

A CHURCH has vanished from the Russian village where it stood for almost 200 years, the local diocese said on Tuesday.
The Church of Christ’s Resurrection, in the central Russian village of Komarovo, was built in 1809 but someone has stolen it brick by brick, Father Vitaly a spokesman for the local Russian Orthodox Church, said.
More

AN Indian man beat his neighbour to death because he urinated against the wall of his house after a drinking binge, according to newspapers.
Shri Pal, a 35-year-old scrap dealer, died of his injuries after Durga Prasad erupted in fury and attacked him, the Hindustan Times reported.
More

A HELPFUL hound glued his jaws together in a bizarre accident when he sank his teeth into a fast food menu.
Cymbeline, a Scottish terrier, is trained to pick up the post from the doormat and hand it over to owner Kimberly Fisher, 41.
But the poor pooch had his trap shut when a high gloss finish on a takeaway menu glued his teeth closed for more than half an hour.
More

DESPITE portraying the country as being full of backward quasi-mediaeval racists who drink horse urine, Borat has actually boosted tourism in Kazakhstan.
Kenzhebay Satzhanov, deputy chairman in Kazakhstan’s tourism and sports ministry, said the British comic Sacha Baron Cohen’s character had helped put the country on the map.
“It was free of charge advertising and lots of people want to come and see our country.”
“The rise (in tourists was) maybe not so huge like we expected but in any case we saw interest.”
More

They probably expected a goody bag of some sorts as a going home gift after the primary school trip to Sainsbury’s.
But what the 42 children – not to mention their parents and teachers – did not expect was to be given a book with explicit illustrations of sexual positions.
And the advice under the dozen drawings, which feature in a section about saving water by ‘bathing with a friend’, reads: ‘Save water. Have fun. Just get out before everything becomes wrinkled.’
More

PHILANDERING husbands could soon be forced by the courts to keep paying for their mistresses after an affair ends.
That is just one outcome set to arise from laws on broken de facto relationships that will take effect early next year, The Courier-Mail reports.
Under the Family Law Act reforms, de facto partners together for two years will get the same rights as married couples to seek “spousal maintenance” claims.
More

*Democracy would dictate that I should not post the following link. Garfield voted yes, Odie and Spoony voted no. HOWEVER…
WARNING: The following link is X rated. Only click it if you are 18 or older and not easily offended. Needless to say, it is NSFW (Not Safe For Work)!
Click here if you would like to see Belladonna taking a baseball bat up the arse
*Send all your complaints to Garfield 🙂

AUSTRALIA’S mandatory internet filter is being primed to block 10,000 websites as part of a blacklist of unspecified “unwanted content”, Communications Minister Stephen Conroy revealed in Federal Parliament.
The 10,000 blocked websites would include 1300 websites already blacklisted by the Australian Communications and Media Authority.
“The pilot will specifically test filtering against the ACMA blacklist of prohibited content, which is mostly child pornography, as well as filtering of other unwanted content,” Senator Conroy told Parliament.
“While the ACMA blacklist is currently around 1300 URLs, the pilot will test against this list as well as filtering for a range of URLs to around 10,000 so that the impacts on network performance of a larger blacklist can be examined.”
More

Hey, Senator “cleanfeed” Conroy, listen up!
As trials continue ahead of the introduction of mandatory ISP filtering sometime early in 2009, it’s becoming clearer that the entire scheme is an ill-thought-out attempt for left-wing Labor to suck up to right-wing politicians. Here’s six reasons why the concept is stupid and hopefully doomed to failure.
More

A $6.2 billion blueprint to develop a greener car industry in Australia will not stop the immediate loss of jobs sacrificed to cheaper labour overseas and the global economic downturn.
More

The AK-47 got it’s name from the Russian description: “Avtomat Kalashnikova obraztsa 1947 goda” or, in English, “Kalashnikov’s automatic rifle model of year 1947”. It is a 7.62 mm assault rifle developed in the Soviet Union by Mikhail Kalashnikov. It was introduced into service with select units of the Red Army in 1947. It fires 600 rounds per minute.
Click here for the AK-47 wiki page

*FACT OF INTEREST: The original Nokia SMS alert tone is actually morse code for ‘SMS’. Dot-dot-dot dash-dash dot-dot-dot spells ‘SMS’ in morse code.

THE threat of recession could disappear if we all put a smile on our face, the Government’s top money man said today.
After two months of persistent bad economic news, Treasury secretary Ken Henry said the worst could be avoided if Australians simply cheered up.
More

FUCK INTERNET CENSORSHIP!
FUCK THE RUDD LABOR GOVERNMENT!
Bring on the next election!

Internet censorship in Australia

•November 14, 2008 • Leave a Comment

I know this site is supposed to be dedicated to the ATFS podcast, but I thought this was pretty important. The current Labor government is trying to implement an internet filtering system at the ISP level. It was initially supposed to be an opt-out system whereby all internet content would be filtered automatically, but consumers could choose not to have their internet access filtered by contacting their respective ISPs. It seems that now there will be sites that are black-listed, which means that customers cannot access certain sites, no matter what.
If you object to this and don’t want the internet in Australia to end up like it is in China, Burma or Iran, you should contact the senator responsible for this proposed legislation. His name is Stephen Conroy, the Minister for Broadband, Communications and the Digital Economy.

His email addresses are:
minister@dbcde.gov.au
senator.conroy@aph.gov.au

On a related topic, this is an extract from the website of Electronic Frontiers Australia:
“Australia is the only Western country without an R rating for computer and video games. If a game is deemed unsuitable for MA15+ by the Office of Film and Literature Classification, it is refused classification and cannot be sold. Titles including 50 Cent, Bulletproof, Postal 2, Leisure Suit Larry, NARC, Singles, Blitz: The League, and Manhunt have all been refused classification in recent years. In 2008 alone, four game titles have been banned: Silent Hill, Dark Sector, Fallout 3 and Shellshock 2.
According to recent surveys, the average age of gamers in Australia is around 30 years old. The lack of an R18+ rating for games hurts both Australian adults and Australian developers.
An R18+ classification would require the unanimous support of all Attorneys-General, and in the past moves to change the current classification have been blocked on the vote of a single state Attorney-General.
It is our hope that public discussion on this issue will not be stifled by the unsupported views of one politician.”
The Attorney-General in question is from South Australia. His name is Michael Atkinson.

His email address is:
attorney-general@agd.sa.gov.au

If you choose to voice your objection, please keep it clean, articulate and civil. Abuse and derision will not help anyone.

*UPDATE:
The Australian Greens won’t be supporting plans to introduce compulsory internet filters.
The federal government wants to introduce filters to stop people accessing x-rated material, child pornography and inappropriate material.
The plan is being opposed by the internet industry which says it opens the door to censorship of other material, including political views.
“We’re very, very concerned that there’s going to be a unnecessary clamp down on the internet and it has to be watched,” Greens leader Bob Brown told ABC Television on Tuesday.
His colleague Scott Ludlam has been lobbying against the changes.
“He’s working very hard with community groups in Australia to oppose the current proposals by the government,” Senator Brown said.
The government needs the support of all seven crossbench senators – including the five Greens – to have draft laws pass parliament against coalition opposition.
More

Episode 37

•November 8, 2008 • 2 Comments

Click here for Episode 37

A few weeks ago Joe Biden, Barak Obama’s running mate, predicted that an Obama administration would face a major foreign policy test within months.
That test has come within a day of the election – from Russia.
“I would like to stress we have no problems with the American people. We don’t have innate anti-Americanism and we hope that our partners, the new US administration, will make a choice in favour of fully-fledged relations with Russia,” Mr Medvedev said.
More

ITALIAN Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi today praised US election victor Barack Obama as young, beautiful and “tanned” and said the world saw him as a messiah.
“He is young, he is beautiful and he is tanned,” Mr Berlusconi said in Moscow’s Kremlin, when asked how President-elect Obama might get along with his Russian counterpart Dmitry Medvedev.
More

He’s been a body-builder, a movie star and leader of the most populous state in the US. But could Arnold Schwarzenegger, now nearing the end of his days as California’s governor, be offered a place at Barack Obama’s side in Washington?
Speculation is swirling that Schwarzenegger will be offered the role of energy czar in the incoming Obama administration. There has been Beltway chatter about the prospect ever since he was named as a contender for the job by the authoritative politico.com website.
More

Democratic Congressman Rahm Emanuel has accepted US President-elect Barack Obama’s offer to become the new White House chief of staff.
The Illinois Congressman who is known for his aggressive style will control access to the new president and will help develop administration policies.
More

According to Fox News Chief Political Correspondent Carl Cameron, there was great concern within the McCain campaign that Palin lacked “a degree of knowledgeability necessary to be a running mate, a vice president, a heartbeat away from the presidency,” in part because she didn’t know which countries were in NAFTA, and she “didn’t understand that Africa was a continent, rather than a series, a country just in itself.”
More

*OK, technically this next link wasn’t mentioned in the podcast, but it does relate to the ridiculously over-the-top celebrations that happened after the US election results were made official. Plus it’s just piss funny.
Trey Parker and Matt Stone have always turned around “South Park” episodes with impressive speed, but Wednesday night was ridiculous.
The latest “Park” was entirely about Barack Obama and John McCain — post election.
Though much of the content could have prepared in advance, the opening was directly from Obama’s Grant Park acceptance speech Tuesday night (complete with those unsettling bulletproof walls). There was also a segment from John McCain’s concession speech.
More

*There’s probably a YouTube video of Oprah Winfrey going ape-shit over Obama’s election win, but I refuse to include a link to anything related to that fat, self-obsessed, left-wing bitch unless it involves an epic failure.

Last week’s poll:
Was ATFS 36 a Success or a Failure??

21.4% (20 of 83 responses) – ATFS was better than normal
47% (39 of 83 Responses) – ATFS was completely rubbish and should return to normal format
28.9% (24 of 83 Responses) – ATFS 36 was about on par with the other podcasts
Did Spoony Deliberately sabotage ATFS 36??
57.8% (48 of 83 responses) – Yes, What a Spoil Sport
42.2% (35 of 83 responses) – No, what are the pets going on about?
Click here to vote on the current polls

Click here for the Footloose IMDB page
Click here for the Dirty Dancing IMDB page
Click here for the Saturday Night Fever IMDB page
Click here for the Billy Elliot IMDB page
Click here for the Grease IMDB page
*NOTE: I was so ashamed by looking up those links that I immediately deleted my browser’s history. What the fuck were you thinking Odie? I hope, for your sake, that your Footloose fetish is part of a master plan to feel up hot women on red carpets..

Nelson Muntz from “The Simpsons” is used to being in trouble, but now he’s under fire over a “super gay” comment he made on Sunday’s Halloween episode … ha HUH?
The Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network (GLSEN), the people who teamed up with Hilary Duff to fight the offensive use of the phrase “that’s so gay”, is now going after Nelson for his homophobic comment on the show.
More

For those that feel repentant about homophobic comments they may have made (and obviously believe that free speech is a myth):
Click here to visit thinkb4youspeak.com

A 16-year-old boy has been arrested in Adelaide – for breaking into a local police station.
More

A WOMAN “old enough to know better” has been fined for flashing her bare bottom and spanking herself in front of a crowd at the Gold Coast Indy.
Lucinda Dorothy Dimond, 37, of Main Beach, pleaded guilty in court yesterday to public nuisance over her balcony performance on October 26.
More

FORMER AFL wild-boy Warwick Capper was snapped this weekend cavorting with two naked girls on a Surfers Paradise balcony.
The flamboyant former Sydney Swans star was partying at the Equinox complex as he watched the Gold Coast Indy, won by Sydney’s Ryan Briscoe.
Police made a couple of trips to the building but no one was arrested.
More
Click here for the pics

A TEACHER has been found guilty of pursuing an unlawful sexual relationship with a female student.
Amanda Louise Thompson, 28, pleaded not guilty in the Brisbane District Court to maintaining an unlawful relationship with a child between April 2003 and 2005.
Thompson fell for the 14-year-old student, who cannot be named, when she was teaching at a high school south of Brisbane in April 2003.
More

Scientists have created clones of a mouse that had been dead and frozen for 16 years.
It is the first time they have been able to clone a frozen animal.
The Japanese researchers say their work will benefit mankind – and could be used to bring back extinct animals such as the woolly mammoth or sabre tooth tiger.
More

MICHAEL Crichton, the author behind the fictional world of Jurassic Park, died yesterday at the age of 66 after a battle with cancer that he hid from the public eye.
Crichton, the author of more than a dozen bestselling novels and creator of the medical drama series ER, died unexpectedly in Los Angeles, his family said.
More

A British 19-year-old has officially changed his name to “Captain Fantastic Faster Than Superman Spiderman Batman Wolverine Hulk And The Flash Combined.”
More

A single-story home in Sargent was damaged by fire Wednesday morning after the homeowner accidentally set the fire while cleaning cobwebs from the eaves around the exterior of the residence with a blow torch.
The 1,400-square-foot, single-story home belonging to Galen and Tammy Winchell is at 59 Smith Road in Sargent. Shortly before 11 a.m. — according to Coweta Fire Investigator James Gantt — Galen Winchell was admittedly torching cobwebs when he noticed smoke coming from his home.
More

A man was accidentally killed by a sledgehammer his son-in-law was swinging at a bat that had flown into the home they shared, police said.
Francis V. Mercier, 66, of East Mead Township, was hit in the head Friday by the three-pound hammer as his son-in-law, D. J. Delancey, was trying to kill the animal with it.
More

Lingerie maker Lucia Iorio says her new design targets the modern, techno-savvy woman, but the GPS-equipped “Find Me If You Can” line has raised the hackles of feminists who call it a 21st-century chastity belt.
The lingerie combo consists of lace bodice, bikini bottom and faux pearl collar, with the GPS device visibly nestled in the see-through part of the bodice next to the waist.
More

Click here to view the video of Beyoncé’s awful song “If I Were A Boy”
*NOTE: The comments on the vid are pretty funny. I mean that in the sense of laugh at as opposed to laugh with.

A CANADIAN man who took his two young daughters out in sub-zero temperatures clad only in nappies and T-shirts has pleaded guilty to criminal negligence over their deaths.
The girls, aged one and three, froze to death in a field after Christopher Pauchay tried to take them to a neighbour’s house while he was drunk in January.
More

A TEACHER who put on a strip show for 15-year-olds has kept her job, with the school’s principal saying more flesh could be seen on the beach.
British newspaper The Sun reports the students at a school in Zalaegerszeg, western Hungary, were playing a game of truth or dare at a party when they challenged their teacher to pole dance.
It’s unclear if there was actually a pole in the room.
Instead, the teacher took off her top, unzipped her trousers and removed a sock before another staff member covered her with a jacket.
More

THE globe’s wiki-based online hub of the world’s most famous women, Chickipedia.com has revealed who are its 100 most wanted women.
The Top 100 list features our own Australian supermodel Miranda Kerr, and is based on the number of searches conducted by internet users of the database in August this year.
More
Click here for the gallery

Click here for the Requiem for a Dream IMDB page

There has been a rumor floating around for about a week now that High School Musical star, Vanessa Hudgens, 18, decided it would be a good idea to take nude pictures of herself a couple months ago for boyfriend and co-star, Zac Efron. Apparently she wasn’t familiar with the formula naked + pictures = Internet.
More
More pictures (NSFW)

SINGING sensation Pink set her bedroom on fire during sex.
The singer suffered a string of disasters during one Thanksgiving holiday, including accidentally starting a blaze after a day binging on tequila with friends.
More

A WOMAN who was raped in the back seat of a car drove her attacker to a police station after he fell asleep, a court in New Zealand was told.
Vipul Romik Sharma, 22, was found guilty of abduction and two counts of rape yesterday by a jury in Auckland District Court.
More

A man built a Lamborghini sports car in his cellar – but then needed a digger to drive it out.
Ken Imhoff fell in love with the Countach after seeing one in the movie Cannonball Run.
However, the car fanatic couldn’t afford to buy one so instead he spent ten years building one in the basement of his home in Wisconsin, U.S.
After the completion of his masterpiece, Ken encountered a problem when he realised there was no garage door to drive the Lamborghini through.
More

THE New Zealand National Party’s John Key is the country’s new prime minister after voters firmly rejected Labour leader Helen Clark’s plea to resist change in the midst of the worldwide financial crisis.
Mr Key told cheering supporters that New Zealanders had voted for change, and though the road out of the financial crisis might be rocky, he pledged to work for a better life for all the country’s citizens.
More

Michael Shergold, a father-of-three, said he was in the “dilemma” of having to decide whether to risk his own life with a dangerous operation for the boy whom he may never be able to meet.
Mr Shergold said he was contacted by Hampshire Social Services to be told he was the father of another child – a five-year-old son from a previous, short-lived relationship.
He was told a former girlfriend, unable to cope with the demands of motherhood, had handed the boy over to foster parents.
Mr Shergold said he was told a meeting with the new-found son was out of the question.
He was also informed the boy, who cannot be named for legal reasons, was to be formally adopted and the council was ringing merely to let him know.
More

Episode 36

•November 1, 2008 • 4 Comments

Click here for Episode 36

Click here to download the sans-Spoony ATFS episode (A special message from the pets)
*It’s working now, sorry for the bad link

Several U.S. officials confirmed a report today in the Wall Street Journal that the White House is actively considering taking part in talks with tribal leaders in Afghanistan and Pakistan who are associated with the Taliban.
More

Bill Clinton says at a rally that Barack Obama called a round of advisers during the height of the economic crisis and said, “tell me what … to do.”
“I haven’t cleared this with him and he may even be mad at me for saying this so close to the election, but I know what else he said to his economic advisers (during the crisis),” Clinton told the crowd at a Wednesday night rally with Obama in Florida. “He said, ‘Tell me what the right thing to do is. What’s the right thing for America? Don’t tell me what’s popular. You tell me what’s right — I’ll figure out how to sell it.'”
More

While walking through the hizzle, Snoop D-O-double-Gizzle sportizzled his Louis Vuitton Damier Speedy along with a blueizzle shower cap. That is how he rolls.
More
*WARNING: Don’t click the link if you’re offended by websites dedicated to sad, vacuous, fashion-obsessed, female lemmings… That being said, the pic is quite amusing.

WONDERBRAS are set to become bestsellers in Vietnam – because the ruling Communist Party is banning small-chested women from driving motorbikes.
Anyone with a chest under 71cm will be outlawed in a bid to make the country’s notoriously hazardous roads safer.
More

A MAN assaulted his wife and threatened to shoot her after she failed to secure him a young second wife, media reports say.
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Bali bombers isolated in their prison wing and separated from nine other convicted terrorists who live with them as preparations intensify for their executions.
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Jesus Christ was not God, and Mary was not a virgin, according to a controversial new book written by an Australian Catholic priest.
In the booklet, ‘God is Big. Real Big’, which has gone on sale for $20 in several churches, Bathurst priest Peter Dresser argues Jesus could not have been God.
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CLAIMS criminals are using drug-soaked business cards to incapacitate female victims is the latest urban myth to circulate in email accounts.
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*I have no idea what photo Spoony was referring to, but if you want to see Scarlett Johansson (and the twins) in a red dress, click here. The first pic isn’t the best so be sure to browse the gallery.
Click here to see some fag copping a free feel of her norgs.
Life is so unfair 😦

Self-combusting clothes have been blamed for a fire that destroyed a flat in Townsville last night.
Firefighters believe a woman who lived in a ground floor unit had removed a pile of clothes from a clothes dryer and placed them in a linen cupboard where they “super-heated” and burst into flames.
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*This wasn’t in the podcast, but if you want to imagine what Spoony’s AIDS-free utopian fuck-fest may have been like (or may be like, fingers crossed), click here for Bill Hicks’ take on it.

Episode 35

•October 26, 2008 • 1 Comment

Click here for Episode 35

First of all, this site got a mention. Thanks to Spoony, Garfield and Odie for the plug.
Click here for the link to this page (Sorry, I couldn’t help myself)
Click here for Spoony’s wiki page
And just to answer a few questions, I am male and yes, Garfield, I have no life.

SCHOOLGIRLS in suburban Sydney say organised fights are a regular occurrence and treated like a “party” – attracting large crowds, often involving alcohol, and are filmed and posted on the internet.
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The Republican vice-presidential candidate, Sarah Palin, is blaming gender bias for the controversy over $US150,000 ($236,000) worth of designer clothes and accessories the Republican Party provided for her and her family.
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LEADING Australian celebrities have taken a stand against the “thin is in” motto and stripped to show how comfortable they are with their curves.
Kate Ritchie, Sarah Murdoch, Antonia Kidman and Ricki-Lee Coulter are just some of the high-profile names who have said Australian women should embrace their curves.
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Click here to see the photos

DRINKING just three cups of coffee a day can make women’s breasts shrink, researchers say.
They said there was a clear link between drinking coffee and smaller breasts, as about half of women possessed a gene shown to link breast size to coffee intake.
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“Bob had bitch tits” is a quote from Fight Club.
Click here for the Fight Club IMDB page
*Awesome movie. If you haven’t seen it you’re probably a daft bint, in which case this is probably more your style.

BANANAS in pyjamas may be OK, but in undies they are not – as a woman discovered at Sydney Airport.
Suspecting she was concealing something on her body, a female officer frisked her and found she was concealing three banana plants in her underpants.
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*As a point of balance, note that Spoony didn’t read the whole article this time. Although, after thinking it was three bananas, he probably got distracted wondering which orifice took the double. He was sexually active before AIDS, you know.

Police detained a man accused of chopping off the head of a tenant in his apartment Thursday and then parading with it in the streets of Bangladesh’s capital shouting, “I’ve killed my wife,” officials said.
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*Spoonman: “He obviously wanted some head” 🙂 Long live pun humour!

A JAPANESE piano teacher has been arrested on suspicion of killing her “virtual husband” after becoming enraged that he suddenly divorced her in an online game.
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*NOTE: I couldn’t find the story Garfield was referring to, but the following story (from 2007) is equally fucked up:
Belgian newspapers De Morgen and Het Laatste Nieuws reported Friday that “the Brussels public prosecutor has asked patrol detectives of the Federal Computer Crime Unit to go on Second Life” to investigate a “virtual rape” involving a Belgian user of Second Life.
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BRITISH atheists have raised a pile of cash to tell Londoners there’s probably no God and to get on with life.
The nation’s first atheist advertising campaign has beaten its funding target in less than 24 hours, raising nearly nine times the amount it needed to posts its ads on public buses in London.
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Click here to visit the fundraising page

A youth worker appealed at the funeral today of a murdered father for young Lebanese men in Sydney to shun crime and being macho.
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“Chill Winston” is a quote from Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels
Click here for the Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels IMDB page
Click here for a poor quality YouTube video dedicated to the quote

Two Dutch towns on the Dutch-Belgian border intend to shut down all cafes which sell marijuana “as soon as possible” in an effort to get rid of the nuisance caused by drug tourism.
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AROUND $12 billion worth of savings in funds have been frozen, leaving retirees and investors stuck without access to their accounts.
Treasurer Wayne Swan has been criticised for saying people cut off from their savings and investments because of the funds freeze should contact Centrelink.
Federal Opposition Leader Malcolm Turnbull called on the Government to set an immediate cap on the unlimited bank deposit scheme, to stop money streaming into the guaranteed banks.
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The Organisation of the Petroleum Exporting Countries (OPEC), meeting in Vienna tonight, is set to announce a cut to oil output in a bid to shore up oil prices, which have been plunging as fears of a global recession hit energy demand.
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The Fisher Price Little Mommy Cuddle ‘n Coo doll has caused worldwide controversy after being accused of proclaiming “Islam is the light”.
Some concerned parents have also reported it saying, “Satan is King”.
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“You know what they put on chips in France? Mayonnaise.” … “They drown ’em in that shit” is from Pulp Fiction, as stated by Garfield.
*Give me the pedant-of-the-week award because the actual dialogue is as follows:
Vincent: You know what they put on french fries in Holland instead of ketchup?
Jules: What?
Vincent: Mayonnaise.
Jules: Goddamn.
Vincent: I’ve seen ’em do it, man. They fuckin’ drown ’em in that shit.
Click here for the Pulp Fiction IMDB page
Click here to see a YouTube re-enactment of the scene in question

The Swanston Street Boost Juice Bar is located at 172 Swanston Street Walk, Melbourne.
Click here for the Boost Juice website
Click here for the location on Google Maps

Lord Of The Fries is located at Elizabeth and Flinders Streets (across the road from Flinders St. Station) and Shop 5 Flinders Street Station (across from Federation Square).
Click here for the Lord Of The Fries website
Click here to see Lord Of The Fries on Google Maps

Minotaur (The Pop Culture Megastore) is located at 121 Elizabeth Street, Melbourne.
Click here to see the Minotaur website
Click here to see Minotaur on Google Maps

Scientists have found that we feel more positively towards a stranger if we have a warming drink in our hand.
Researchers suspect that we are programmed to seek out warmth – and that a hot drink triggers a host of positive associations in the brain.
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Spoonman’s Forking Fan Club links:

*This next one was not in the podcast, but it’s a great example of an article that is better if you only read the first paragraph:
Fire crews have rescued a workman from a septic tank at a brewery in Healesville, Melbourne’s outer east, after he was overcome by fumes.
Insert your own jokes here 🙂
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